Our gruelling journey home consisted of a taxi ride, 3 flights and a 13 hour wait in Delhi airport. All combined with emotions running increasingly higher, as we waited to be reunited with family, friends and England. With my emotions through the roof, catching a glimpse of my dad patiently waiting for us at Manchester airport triggered tears that flowed all day. Saying goodbye (for all of a couple of day’s) to James felt bizzare. After going through 6 months of amazing adventures together, it was as if I could only relate to him, like my back up was gone.
It’s my second day here now and I’m still feeling in a complete daze, naturally! I am however, staying in a most excellent 5 star accommodation – all credit to my incredible mum. As I sit with my family listening to “normal” conversations, it gives me an alien like comforting feeling. I can’t relate to any of it but I enjoy it. Everything looks different but the same. Almost as if I’m recognising everything around me but I’m seeing it differently.Drinking water from the tap has never tasted so good and don’t even get me started on my mum’s cooking.
I haven’t practiced yoga for 3 days now. My mind isn’t here so it would be utterly pointless, plus I’m still suffering a little from my old friend, Delhi belly. I have a brand new beauty of a mat waiting for me though, courtesy of eco mats. My old one actually melted while I was away! Seona, the woman who I was emailing about it has been a real saviour. Not only did she without question send me a new mat out, it also came with a very comforting and personal note.
So I’ve been doing a lot of this since I’ve been back – Shavasana or corpse pose.
It feels nice on my sore tummy and busy brain. My busy brain which I can’t seem to slow down at the moment. Earlier i called the doctor, explaining about my tummy and travelling, I was asked for no money or insurance and have an appointment this afternoon. They’ll ask me questions, probably take bloods and in a few days I’ll be bending myself into funny shapes again. A few years ago I wouldn’t have thought anything of it, now I can’t stop thinking about it.
So here’s my short “save the world hippie rant”. Do you ever stop and think how lucky you were to just be born here? I never used to. To have people that can make you better in a few days. To have teachers that educate you, even when sometimes you didn’t want it. To have a bed that you don’t share with 10 other people, to be a woman and have equal rights. And it’s all just … luck, chance, a blessing, whatever you want to call it. So easily could I have been born in India or Syria! So as my mind swirls around processing everything, I finally realise that once you have stretched your mind by travelling, you can never go back. The fact that I have very little money, my mind instantly tell me ” you have mountains more than that kid in Burma”. The realisation that I’m not returning to a full time stable job, my mind takes over ” you’re not begging in the middle of a motorway in India”. Perspective Grace, but I’ve seen it all now and it’s there in my mind and I’m lucky.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not recommending at the end of your practice you lay in Shavasana, and think about poverty in third world countries. It’s more along the lines of just laying and feeling content with what you have.
Love a very delirious and jet lagged Grace. Xxx